Mail Order Brides

Taking the Risk Out of Mail-Order Romance
by Vivien Schweitzer

It was only a matter of time before Hollywood saw the tragicomic potential of the Russian mail-order bride business. But while the recently released film "Birthday Girl" predictably focuses on the perils of marrying a stranger, some dating agencies claim that it needn't be such a risky business. The answer, they say, is for potential couples to meet face to face rather than via a computer interface. Arizona-based A Foreign Affair is one of a rapidly increasing number of agencies that organizes trips for Western men to visit Russia and former Soviet republics, where they can get to know a variety of women recruited through the local press. John Adams, owner of A Foreign Affair, says dating tours have taken off since he founded his agency in 1995. He uses his own happy marriage to Tanya, whom he met three years ago while leading a tour to St. Petersburg, as an example of how well the trips can work. Adams believes that the increasing popularity of these tours, where Russian women are invited to social events such as "Hollywood Nights" to meet Westerners, stems from Western male confusion. "The roles in the West are so muddled, but in Russia men and women's roles are much more clearly defined; you don't have to worry about offending a woman if you open a door for her," he says. Michael Berkowitz, a 54-year-old California businessmen who is hoping to marry a Russian woman he met on a tour to Moscow, agrees. "I like Russian women more than American women," he says. "It seems as if Russian ladies are more involved with the relationship; you are not just a money tag and they are willing to put themselves out for their man." American television series such as "Ally McBeal" and "Sex and the City" might imply that there are thousands of desperate single women looking for husbands in the United States, but Adams says this is not the case. Successful men in their late 30s and 40s hoping to start a family can't find a partner because older women have decided they don't want children and twentysomethings are too busy establishing a career, he says. In Russia, on the other hand, younger women can't find a stable partner. "The fit between Russian women and American men is very good right now," he says. Sabina Kuliyeva, 24, who joined A Foreign Affair in Moscow a month ago along with her twin sister Nazira and best friend Irina Gazaryan, 32, says she is attracted to American men mainly because they offer the promise of stability. "We live different lives and according to different rules than in America," she says. "There you have stability and Americans always try to plan their lives. Russians never plan anything because we don't know what we will face tomorrow. I was surprised to learn that foreigners even plan when to have children!" Kuliyeva and her sister say the next most important things in a man are kindness, honesty and openness. Money, they claim, is less important.

Ms Schweitzer is The Moscow Times columnist. Any reproduction of this article needs to have an html link pointing to: http://www.afaclub.com